There are just under six hours left of 2013. I am going to start drinking shortly so I thought I best hammer this post out before it becomes an alcohol fueled, tear stained blogtastrophy. I'm not going to lie; I'm ecstatic to see 2013 go. Cannot wait. My facebook feed is filled with both real and imaginary friends being thankful for all of their blessings and looking forward to the coming year. I agree wholeheartedly with the following caveat; 2013 can kiss my ass. I am at the end of a bad three year run. I have nothing but the highest hopes for 2014.
2013 has been a roller coaster ride from one end to the other. I'm not ready to talk about my marriage ending except to say that I wouldn't have made it through the last three years without Dan and my kids and that the two of us have loved one another for fourteen years, and that is a long time.
Life and their parents have thrown things at my kids over the last three years that kids shouldn't have to go through. But, as Cheli was fond of saying, life isn't fair. And if something good is going to come from the last three years, I hope what they have been through prepares them for their lives ahead and that when they grow up and remember their childhoods they will remember they were fiercely loved by both of their parents. As for me, I have learned so much over the last year about who my children are as people; they are amazing individuals. When I think back over the last eight years and the differences that Olivia and Grace have made in the lives of Dan, Aidan and myself....well, there are too many to count, all of them valuable. The best parts about this year are specific to my kids; seven year old girls are amazingly fun especially considering that for nearly four years I thought they would kill me, and I have a 16 year old boy who still likes me and doesn't mind hanging out in public occasionally...those two things alone make it more of a success than not.
2014 is going to be a year of changes for myself, for Dan, for our kids and for our extended families. We will all have to figure out how to move forward together and individually and we will have to learn to navigate our new relationships; I have high hopes on all accounts.
On a personal level I am looking forward to working on the new home that the kids and I are making and I hope that we will be here for a long, long time; I am grateful for the help Dan is giving in making that a reality. I am looking forward to continuing to feel more "myself" and to spending quality time with my kids, my family and my friends. I wouldn't have made it this far without the amazing support team that occasionally helps me keep my head above water when things get too crazy. Thanks to Erin, my brother, who continually takes my problems as his own and who always has the soundest and most thoughtful advice. A huge thanks to Melissa and Paul who housed the kids and I for what was supposed to be a month and turned into three. We took over their home and they very graciously let us leak into every aspect of their nice, quiet lives and, I think, into their hearts. Thanks to Thia, Tim, Maison and Kendall who kept my chickens, my coop and Lilo for that same extended amount of time. First Kendall lived through the murder of Lucy, our favorite hen and then Thia cleaned her up and prepared her for burial (she is currently residing in my freezer waiting for the Spring thaw....story for another day)...and now they have added chicken to the list of meats their family doesn't eat thanks to the trauma I brought them. On top of that, my silly dog ran away and got hit by a car while I was out of town and unreachable and Thia and Tim fronted tons of money to put her back together again for my kids. I love Thia dearly and I know she loves me but I'm guessing she won't have such a hard time saying "no" when I ask her for favors anymore. Thanks to Cathi, Jim, Tricia, Nick, Donna, Rob, Colleen, Larry, Tiffany, Jesica, Jim, Jeannie, Bill, Sally, John, and Pam. And from far far away, my bff Shawna, and my soul sisters... Jessie and Becca. Huge thanks to all of the amazing people who love my children beyond reason, most especially Dan's family. I hope I didn't forget anyone, if I did, please know that I am so, so grateful. My actual family seems to grow smaller and smaller but the people surrounding me by choice continues to grow and strengthen and for that I am truly grateful. I hope I am half as good a friend to you as you are to me. Here's to a fantastic new year and a what I hope will be a spectacular rise from the ashes. Cheers.
Happy New Year.