Friday, August 5, 2011

For My Mom and For Myself

For me, my favorite thing about my mom is her humor.  Most people would tell you she's really, really, really funny.  One of the unique pieces of our interesting and complicated relationship is that I really see my mom as a person and not just my mom.  I'm glad for the ability to separate the two.  I don't spend much time writing about the complicated part of our relationship on my blog; it seems like the inappropriate venue to work out relationship issues that span 4 decades and really belong on an expensive therapist's couch. What you read here is going to be very funny Cheli stuff; usually. 

I asked on facebook the other day for people to share their funniest Cheli stories and they're funny and you can see them here.  What started out as a request for a much needed laugh ended up getting me thinking about some of the things that I always admired about my mom and haven't spent too much time being grateful for lately. 

My friend Amy is who made me remember with her comment (you can read a funny story about Amy and Cheli here), "all I can say is that your Mom was there for me in the depths and I underline depths of despair. Not funny, just amazing" and that is true.  My mom was constantly, amazingly, unselfishly available to every person I decided to love.  If they were important to me, they were important to my mom.  She was able to stop her life at that moment and mother a child who was not hers and who was truly in a deep, dark place and she made a difference that Amy still thinks about 23 years later. 

On the same post, Shawna (who you can read about ALL over this blog) said, "I loved that she bought me the book "Looking Out for #1" when I was 15 and told me to "get some confidence" which is also true.  But more true is that Shawna had a complicated childhood and as a teenager suffered a long and dangerous eating disorder.  If you ask Shawna why she is alive today she will tell you that my mom saved her.  And she did. And in a million little ways that I forget about when I'm annoyed with her, she has saved me over and over again.

Most parents probably don't love all of their kids friends, but my mom just totally, completely opened her heart to anyone I deemed worthy to love.  It is a gift that I will be more appreciative of going forward.  For my mom and my family this week, I wish peace no matter the outcome of my mom's illness. For anyone who reads my blog, I thank you for the outlet.

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