As I regularly write birthday letters to my kids and birthday posts for my loved ones, I thought I’d take a moment to write one to my self; I have exactly 40 minutes left of my thirties.
Happy Birthday! So, you’re just about forty now and I was just thinking that you’ve crammed 23 years of total parenting into 13 years, no small feat for a girl who feels like she’s yet to grow up. You’ve cultivated lasting relationships, survived loss and broken hearts and you still manage to walk up right (most days) with the ridiculous boobs. Which reminds me; you chickened out on the surgery in your thirties, you’re going to have to rethink that one in your forties, and soon, we’d really like for you to buy some bras in a regular store, ones that don’t require custom tailoring, a suspension system and a second mortgage….maybe even ones that come in colors, that’d be new.
I wanted to tell you that I think your relationship with the teenager is pretty cool, you did a good job; he’s perfection. He will be an amazing man, a fantastic partner for someone, and an excellent parent. The jury is still out on the other two, but while we’re on the subject, you might want to reign in the littlest one, she’s becoming a tyrant. Remind you of anyone? That’s right, you were that bossy too. Well, the good news is it doesn’t seem to have done you any lasting harm, you still have friends from your childhood, you still have family that loves you; she’ll be okay too.
Your thirties were life-altering; you lost a dad you had barely found, you found the love of your life, and you married him, you grew two kids at one time in your body, you finally got to return a favor and catch your best friend’s baby. You re-negotiated a relationship with your beloved mother and you're living together again. You picked up a pen again and wrote yourself out of post-partum depression. You and Dan created a home with your hands from a train wreck while parenting small children and building a marriage. Out of a longing for your much missed Grandma and a need to gain perspective about your screaming infants, you crafted a work of art out of a patch of lawn. You’ve spent the last couple of years settling into this parenting twins thing and finally, I know you’ll make it through. And, oh yes, remember to enjoy the girls; they’re a lot of work but they are enchanting and joyful. They truly believe you know and see everything; it won’t be long before they question your magical powers, enjoy them while they still work!
Well, that’s about all. I’m pretty sure you’ll wake up tomorrow morning with some new age issue; your smile sticks around for a bit after you’ve stopped smiling. Your earlobes look wrinklier, painting your nails now requires an arm just a couple of inches longer than the ones you have, that kind of thing. Don’t worry about it, Dan thinks you're hot and in 11 minutes you’re going to enter your sexual prime; happy birthday to me.