Monday, January 24, 2011

Leaving My Thirties and My Babies Behind

I’ve been thinking about the fading away of things lately. I think it may be that my 40th birthday is rapidly approaching and while I’m not freaking out per se, it does have me thinking.  It's not helping matters any that every period I have gets worse than the one before, ovulating is even more rough.  I'm picturing sad little geriatric  eggs trying to escape via walkers and wheelchairs from an equally sad, over used geriatric ovary in a mad dash to get in one more pregnancy before it's too late.  Hey ovaries, for the record, it's WAY too late, that ship has sailed.

I remember when it annoyed me that Aidan slept with one of his lights on. I thought, how will this kid survive at a sleep over? He’s probably been sleeping without it for years, but I just noticed the other day and it made me a little sad.

Things change. He doesn’t call Toys R Us “Toys 4 Us” anymore, he doesn’t say psketti instead of spaghetti and alas; today he would say “run for your life” whereas he used to say “run from your life” (to which I thought, kid, you have NO idea).

At the beginning of the year, Aidan became truly and actually taller than me. When he was born 6 weeks early, he was a tiny little thing and right up through four we worried constantly that he would perish of starvation. He didn’t, and as a result, we don’t worry when the girls go on hunger strike; turns out it is WAY harder to starve them than you think!

The girls too are moving out of babyhood rapidly. Let me tell you, as a parent who can barely tolerate kids 5 minutes younger than my youngest child, I am in general thrilled at their developing personalities, emotions, etc. But every once in a while I feel sad for what is gone. They still want to jump in bed with Dan and I at 5:30 every morning and cuddle for a good hour, but for how much longer? They are about the age that Aidan was when he politely asked me to cease singing lullabies and radio tunes. So far, they still think I sound pretty good (I don’t) but I’m sure that too is almost a thing of the past.

So, as I ease out of my 30s, I think I will concentrate on enjoying the stage they are at while they are at it. It won’t be long until Aidan finds every other girl on the planet more interesting than me and the girls will quit seeking my advice and actively be going against my make up and fashion tips. For now, I’ll enjoy how I started this day. With Olivia yelling, “Mom, you are FRICKIN’ beautiful, really”. I’ll take my praise where I can get it!

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