Before we go on to what happened at school on Monday we have to go back a little. At the beginning of the school year I heard another mom ask my daughters which one was Olivia and then she proceeded to tell her and Grace that her son thinks Olivia is “cute” and Olivia is all they talked about at their house last night. As a twin parent stuff like this drives me crazy, we try so hard for no direct comparisons between our identical kids. Other people don’t understand and usually don’t have the time to stand there and think about how what they are saying to one child might affect the other. Identical is a word that needs to be eradicated from my house and from my kids’ lives. Yes, their DNA is identical, yes to nearly all, their faces are identical; their skill sets and personalities could not be less so. It’s hard to watch when somebody singles one of them out, especially when the behavior, such as “cute”, isn’t even something either of them can control.
So, and here is the important part; it is NOT the other mom’s fault. How would this woman know that this annoys a twin parent or how it makes either twin feel? She had the brains to limit her pregnancies to one baby per knock-up. But here’s what I do know, kids speak like their parents. I know this because my adorable four year olds regularly say things (so far only at home, thank you God) like “crap” and “dumb ass” BECAUSE I DO. I’m going to make a wild guess that someone in Dylan’s life asked if Olivia was his “girlfriend” or if she was “cute”. I don’t know Dylan’s mom yet but I hope I will at some point, she seems like someone I would want to be friends with; nothing that happened was done with malign intent. When I hear Grace tell Olivia, “don’t talk about butts, people will think you’re a dumb ass” I know I should probably watch what I say and I also know that I probably won’t because I fall into the category of dumb ass parents that just think there are things that adults can say and things that kids can say and that kids need to learn the difference. For the record; they do. Eventually.
And now I know exactly what it takes to make at least one of my daughters boy crazy; a boy being crazy about them.
Here’s what happened on Monday. I walk into class and for the first time in a year in a half the girls’ fabulous teacher, Miss Mary, recognizes the difference between Livi and Grace. I was so excited when she said “OH, I can finally tell them apart” and then I made the mistake of asking how. Because. Here. Was. The. Answer.….. “WHEN OLIVIA SEES DYLAN HER FACE LIGHTS UP”. Kill. Me. Now.
Two hours and 45 minutes later I come back to pick up my kids and we get in the car.
Me: Olivia, what did you do at school today?
Olivia: Mommy, I FELL IN LOVE
Me: With learning? (I said with hope in my head and a lump of dread in my throat)
Olivia: Um no, Mommy, I fell in love with Dylan
Me: well, is Dylan nice? Is he funny? Is he kind?
Olivia: yes, …ummmmm yes, yes, Mommy he’s decent.
Me: (screaming silently inside my own head) WHAAAAAT?
Olivia: Mommy, what does decent mean?
Me: Decent means that he generally does and says the right thing, where did you learn that word?
Olivia: The Garfield movie. Mommy, Dylan IS decent.
Tuesday Grace and Olivia were drawing some pictures, Livi asked me to hold onto hers for safe keeping. I asked what they were before I looked.
Olivia: They are pictures of me and Dylan loving each other, because we’re in love
Me: Oh. (closing my eyes and praying fervently that her idea of media involving people “loving each other” is very different than her Daddy’s)
And here they are:
And yes, they're cute. And yes, they made my heart melt. And at the same time they made me very, very afraid. It opened a can of worms in the boys department and the twins department and the sisters department. And that’s when I decided that it is largely hereditary. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you have no dad at all or the best dad in the world. Sometimes, you’re just boy crazy. Now I go to sleep every night praying that Grace is on her brother’s time line of interest in the opposite sex and I won’t have to worry about her for a long, long time.