Where have I been? Sorry about last week, I'm sure none of you could function without hearing from me! Please, send me your therapy bills; I'll see what I can do! Well 2 of the days I was painting a lady's basement, 1 of the days I was in bed with my first full blown migraine in five years and the rest of the days???? I NO LONGER REMEMBER. I do remember learning the French Fry Grandma says chocolate makes you grow and apparently has a car that turns into a rocket ship.
Usually I have TONS of funny stories about my kids; sometimes I even have funny stories about YOUR kids. Last week.....nothing. It's not that nothing happened it's just that I had one of those weeks where I just didn't have the words! Tomorrow I'm taking them with my Mom to Sunny Acres. I'm sure I'll have stories after that, first of all; my Mom is hilarious and I'm pretty sure she'll do something hysterical that will make me or one of my kids pee our pants, second of all, I don't even have a second of all. I'm too distracted by my favorite Cheli story. In fact, I'm going to tell you my favorite Cheli story right now (well it's my favorite Cheli story that doesn't involve pot, drinking or sex on a golf course, remember, I TOLD you she was funny).
Probably about 10 years ago my Mom had to rent a car while hers was in the shop. OnStar had literally JUST been invented. She gets in the car, reaches over to put her purse down and unbeknownst to her hits the OnStar button. A voice says "Hello, this is OnStar, how may I help you?" Cheli jumps and says "Are you in the car?" OnStar says, "No mam, this is OnStar, how can we help you?" Cheli looks up and says, "Is this God?" "No mam, this isn't God, this is OnStar, how may we help you?"
You know those OnStar ads where the person has been in a tragic accident and OnStar stays on the phone until help comes? I always think they should do an ad with my Mom's story; “Are you God?”