Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Wheaton Central High School Class of 1989

So, my twenty year reunion was this past weekend. Here’s what I’ve learned about us. Seriously, we need to get out more. Maybe if we got together more than every 10 years we wouldn’t need to get so plastered! There were a lot of middle aged people (myself included) acting like teenagers, maybe there were some acting like adults, I was having too much fun to notice.



I have a 16 year old niece and a 12 year old son. I know some of what my sister in law is dealing with and have a fair idea of what’s coming down the road for me. I remember that every crush was the end of the world. My heart got broken into billions of pieces on a semi-regular basis; you never felt like someone liked you as much as you liked them. You felt like everyone was popular and had a boyfriend except you. I’m fairly certain God gave me identical twin girls as punishment for my husband for every evil thought he’s ever had about some poor sap’s twin daughters, and I’m sure I’ll have my hands full with them; they’ll be way more beautiful than I ever was. I know what I did as a teenager and I’m scared and excited for my kids to do the same things. I remember what Shawna and I were up to and I think I actually wish some of those things on my kids; only safer! I want my kids to have a fully rounded life and to relish the experiences that will make them who they will someday be. I want them to have all of those high school experiences; the good and the bad. I want them to meet their best friends, learn to know and trust themselves, and to make out with someone they really like outside of the movie theater on a starry night.


With a little distance from your dramatic, over emotional, angst ridden teenage self you can learn some things about you and about your classmates; the popular girl you were friends with (and didn’t understand why she wanted to hang out with you); she thought you were as cool as you thought she was. The guy you made out with and wondered why it never went anywhere? Well, he probably liked you and didn’t know what to do about it. The boy who teased you non-stop about your boobs seems like a stand up guy twenty years later (hi Nick). The girl that wouldn’t let you in her party seems like a perfectly nice woman who has the same problems with her three year old as you do with yours. Lots of people remember nice, funny things about you that you’ve forgotten and they don’t remember the crappy things that you still remember! A lot of us look the same and quite a few of us look better and then some people were just not even recognizable. The girls that used to bug me don’t seem so scary now and the boys I used to love just seem like guys I used to know! Twenty years is enough time to gain some perspective. Some parts of me feel really different, and of course, some things never change.

8 comments:

Tara S. said...

Bravo writer girl. Your summary of the night it just what I needed on this chilly Tuesday afternoon. I cant seem to stop thinking about the night Im glad you couldnt either. Thanks for putting "pen to paper" to sort it out for us. Your friendship was a highlight in my teenage life and it continues to be a highlightin my middle aged mommy life. Lets not be strangers and yes for GODSAKE lets get out more...pathetic indeed.Please keep sharing your thoughts with me and anyone else smart enough to listen.XOXO

Kris Harper-Kaminski said...

thanks so much, Tara. You just made me cry. Oh my God, I hope I'm not pregnant!

Kris Harper-Kaminski said...

Tara, youknow you're the popular girl, right? :)

Mary said...

Thank you for the summary, that is just what I needed after leaving my family and my people who I have spent most of my life with, I wish you were my neighbor. It was a great time and next time I visit we are going to go out, I hope it is sooner than later. One more night of good sleep, I will be recovered. It was nice to have my husband and my boys miss me.

Thank you again!!! Hugs

shawna said...

I thought I was the popular girl you were talking about. JK, I knew it was Tara. I had such a fantastic time at the reunion. Thank you so much, Kris. For everything, especially the laughs.

Tara S. said...

"Popular".I'm touched that others regarded me like that but it makes my hair stand up on the back of my neck too. This "popular" girl wrestled w/the same painful issues you wrote about.If I have one mission w/ my boys it is to be kind to everyone. Oh and to treat women well (but not too well b/c then we wont like them...let's be real) Keep on writing girlie...

Kris Harper-Kaminski said...

don't worry, Tara, you weren't that popular, you were too nice :). It's all just a mind-set isn't it? it's amazing how we make ourselves feel less than we are. I struggle with that with my kids; I want them to know how amazing they are without acting like they think they're the only people on the planet! There is some mysterious balance out there and I sure hope I'm able to find it!

Kurt said...

You are a truly gifted writer, not to mention wise and insightful. Funny I don't remember that from WW middle school, but I was likely focused on something else back then. Found this when doing a search for Wheaton North High School Class of 1989, another happy accident in my life.

Warm regards,

Kurt

 
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